Some men look touch on the outside, but I always wonder – does it feel as touch as it looks?
Muscles and tattoos
Every now and again I will have a counselling booking from a big, scary looking bloke.
You know the type – super-thick gold chains, amazing sleeve tattoos, big muscles. They certainly tower over me! 
These chaps love the gym and they know they look like a force to be reckoned with.
They’re intimidating. “Hard” looking men, if you will.
Of course, we all have a right to present as however we choose. Fashion is a way of expressing ourselves – I think it’s important everyone can do this.
But when we choose to look intimidating, its not just fashion – its also an unconscious decision to scare people off.
Are you trying to scare people off?
Lots of men who come to me for counselling are trying to protect the little boy they used to be. He may have been abused, betrayed by grown ups, or witnessed a life-altering event.
Many boys are let down, especially by attempts to toughen them up. Discouraged to cry or openly express feelings, many boys become men who only feel “safe” to express anger. All other emotions are off limits.
Little boys let down by grown ups
It’s no secret that some grown ups aren’t equipped to carry out consistent, fair or compassionate parenting.
This is a big hurdle for children. Boys that experience unpredictable parenting or a lack of safety tend to learn the hard way that they have to look tough to feel tough.
In adulthood, it can feel that this toughness is fragile and doesn’t bring the inner peace and feeling of security that they hoped it would.
My counselling services help people from all walks of life get to the bottom of the stories from their past. We explore the damage that was caused in a safe space.
Learning to feel comfortable in your skin
The whole point of counselling is to help you feel comfortable in your skin, at home in your mind and at peace with whatever went on in the past.
The upsetting things that happened to you as a child were not your fault.
Counselling with Jackie
If you’re reading this and recognising yourself, or someone you love, please take down my number for later.
I would be glad to have a chat on the phone so you or your loved one get a feel for what I’m like as a person. 07961 771 838
Jackie Jones
Jackie has been a qualified counsellor in 2008. She specialises in relationship therapy, 1:1 counselling and children’s counselling. Jackie fostered over 100 children in 90’s and now supports people navigating life in her practice in Greatstone, Kent.